Tuesday, January 24, 2006


What to take and what to leave behind? As I make my preparations for the big move out of the state, this question continues to pop into my head. When it comes to my physical possessions, the answers are relatively simple. Take the dog, the desk and my coffee pot. Leave the clothes I no longer wear, books I've read and will never open again, and wrapping paper scraps. My emotional possessions are a little harder to sort through. I leave the state of Texas, bound for South Dakota. But can I leave the mental state I've lived in for so long for a more blissful one?

I'd pack a box full of possibilities and suitcase full of joy. But no matter how hard I search for them, they are nowhere to be found. Clues are everywhere, that they are here somewhere. I feel them touch me now and again. But they seem to taunt me. And I think perhaps they have made their way north ahead of me, and are simply tugging at my heart to join them there.

And then, I put the dragonfly bracelet on my wrist, and bam, the coffee tastes better, the morning seems more promising, and the dog's warmth penetrates the palm of my hand reminding me that no matter where I am, these possessions will travel with me.

Mindfulness is the key. Today I will be mindful of the possibilities and the joy - Aha! thoughts and bliss. I will remember that they aren't simple baggage to be carted around, but instead are connected to my very soul, and I need only be mindful to find them at any given moment. They manifest before my eyes, and I need only pay attention.

Frustration, pain and unworthiness I will leave here. They seem to have become quite comfortable, but I refuse to wear a bracelet that pinches my wrist. And though they, like possibility and joy, have been connected to this me in this space, I choose them no more, disengage, release them to the universe. They no longer serve me. They are way too heavy to carry, and can find a new home in which to abide or simply disappear. And when they come to visit, I will send them back to Texas, where they were so comfortable.

And in the sorting, I find comfort and no regret. I look forward to living a life unencumbered by my "stuff". Getting rid of the not-so-useful will certainly lighten my load. I will breathe easier and step lighter. I will smile more and brood less. I will manifest love and light and joy, and resolve to keep the stuff that has no use, both physical and emotional, from cluttering my new space.

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