Friday, June 22, 2007

summer begins

With so much going on, it seems I'd forgotten the Solstice. New seasons come and go, but this summer, the Solstice seems to reflect the new beginnings of my own life. And perhaps an end of the old things that do not serve me.

On the heels of the wedding bliss, tragedy raised its head. The cycle of life and death, joy and sorrow continues. Steve's tiny cousin Austin passed into the next life. At only three and a half, he had been such a joy to his family, indeed, anyone who had ever met him. For such a small child, he left quite a legacy of love and joy in his wake. In my own heart, I know that somewhere in time and space, Austin chose his time of passing, and that he now has new lessons to learn in another time and space. Unfortunately, this doesn't heal the grief felt by family and friends on his passing. Godspeed little one...

A new child is on its way and as amazing as it remains to me, Steve and I created it. Still blows me away that out of love, a child takes shape and grows and moves. My latest doctor's appointment confirmed what I already know, everything is good. The baby is due at the end of August, but my dreams and intuition tell me that perhaps he will arrive earlier. Messages from the other side have been very clear, and so I am preparing myself and trying to remember that the timing is divine and all is perfect. Throughout my entire relationship with Steve, things happen "on schedule." This continues to make me smile to myself, remembering to trust in the Universe and the plans we made together before I was born.

I've heard that when one is "with child", dreams become more frequent and very vivid. I've always had vivid dreams, and strange ones at that. Lately they have become even more telling. Last night I dreamed of a huge eagle flying into and landing in my back yard under a blooming cherry tree. There is no cherry tree in my back yard, but a pear tree that is now bearing tiny little fruits. As is my nature, I looked for the symbolism in all of it. Turning to the "Animal Magic" book, I find that the eagle is a sign of Spirit, and asks on to reconnect with the spiritual side. When I'm honest with myself, I know that I have fallen away from my meditation practice in the hubbub of everyday life. Time to get back at it, I think. The eagle also symbolizes creativity, new birth and healing. Imagine that. And so this huge bald eagle that flew into my dreams reminds me of my place here, and the lessons I chose to learn in this life. I know that the child that is coming for me to take care of will transform my life in many ways and open me up to love that I've never allowed myself to experience in the past. I do have fears...but have tried to keep them out of my own space, choosing instead to be filled with excitement and possibility. The little things will take care of themselves.

How I was lucky enough to land where I am now still throws me. Just not sure how one person can have the life I now have and all the good stuff that goes along with it. An optimist - I see that my glass is not only half full, but overflowing - and I'm not looking for anyone to tip over the glass any time soon.

Tuesday, June 05, 2007

reception and other things

I promised details...
The reception was in Wetonka, SD - Steve's home town...more than 200 miles from Sioux Falls. There are officially 7 residents that live in town. Most others around there are farmers from the country around there. My family, being a bit less rural, was somewhat shocked at the abandoned church, saloon and farmhouses "in town." But when Steve's Aunt Jacky zoomed around the corner in a golf cart to take them on a tour, all fears of what was to come were lost and smiles grew on every face.

The only (and I mean only) place to go in town is the Neon Moon. Some call it a bar, others a cafe. It's actually a bit of both, and people come from miles away to gather there. Young, older, with and without kids. It was built only a couple of years ago by a guy named Dave who wanted a place to drink that he "wouldn't get thrown out of." And so there in the middle of practically nothing is a great little place to go where people laugh, dance, listen to live bands, and generally have a good time. And so the reception was held at the Neon Moon. Sherry, Dave's long-time girl who moved out from California and Linda, Steve's mom, had the place looking quite festive. The locals had offered to bring some dips and salads to accompany the ham, pork loin, cake and punch.

Steve was a trooper about dancing - not only with me, but with the bridal party, his cousins, my mom, his mom, and even Wolfie and Bo. The little ones didn't last too long, and found a place to crash on top the pool table. They had a big time. As the night wore on, he was a bit easier to convince. My sisters had a ball, and even my parents, who aren't much for drinking seemed to really enjoy the entire night...which lasted until morning. As long as people were having fun, Dave let those of us staying in the rooms in the back continue the party.

Steve and I did go to our room before some of the others. And Ann was a hit dancing on the bar at 4 a.m. in Megan's boxer shorts. Sorry sis.

The best thing about the night was that two families from totally different places were able to feel so comfortable with each other. There was a time, just before the wedding, that I wondered just how it would go. But all my fears faded as the night wore on. People made new friends, strangers laughed together, and you could really feel the love. I guess that's what marriage is all about, the joining together of families...and the realization that no matter how different we are, there's something that makes us all the same.

Pictures of the wedding are posted at The password is Rohwedder. I will post some of the other candid shots on flicker when I get some time.

I'm starting to feel peaceful again...the baby and I have some quiet time and little by little the house and our lives are settling down. This is good. It's time.