Monday, January 16, 2006


Is intimacy possible without face time? When this long-distance romance began, I thought it was possible, in fact, quite a good thing. I get my space...he gets his, and when the stars are lined up just right, we'll meet here, or there, or somewhere in the middle and have a great adventure.

Reality has set in. My phone and I have become intimate. My space is empty. His space is far away. And we've only managed a single starlit encounter. Between finances, work obligations, and simple logistics...face time has come to mean me looking at his picture on my cell phone.

My friends warned...long distance romances never work...they're just too hard to maintain. I disagree. They're easy to maintain, if all you have to do is keep the phone charged. But maintenance is not what I had hoped for. I want a growing, evolving relationship not dependent on Sprint and Hallmark. I want intimacy. I'm afraid what I've done is repeat past mistakes by becoming involved with an unavailable voice on the phone. Only this time, I don't hold all the cards. He has half the deck, and is holding his cards at another table. I can't read his poker face.

So what's a girl to do? Hold or fold?

I think I prefer football, and if I were the referee I would definitely call a delay of game penalty, but I certainly don't want him to give up hard-earned yardage. Okay...what's it going to take to score? I get out the play book...time for a quarterback sneak? A hail Mary to the endzone? I could get sacked...but at least I'd get a little face time.

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