Wednesday, January 24, 2007

its a racket

I was on the phone with my sister Heather yesterday, who incidentally is planning a wedding of her own in October. What started as a simple "computer help desk" call ended up a very long conversation on the ins and outs of wedding planning. The verdict...the entire thing is a racket, created to make lots of people a lot of money and leaving brides-to-be thinking that a single blemish on their face with ruin the "most important day of their lives."

My biggest worry is the guest list...there are just too many people on it to fit in my backyard. And there seems to be no way to stop the insanity. But then, I'm not doing the huge church/reception hall thing. Simple, simple, simple. Wedding planners would be horrified. One of Steve's friends called and asked if I had chosen my "personal assistant" for the event. I laughed, and said, "I don't even know what that is." I thanked her for offering her services, but continued to say that I think that's what my sisters are for.

Heather worries, too. That maybe she should go ahead and get lasiks before the wedding so her eyes don't water too much, and that she should spend $1000 to get her face up to par. The dermatologist put the fear of "bad skin" in her head.

And then there's the dress. The women at the bridal shop all say you look fabulous; your attendants say you look fabulous. But when you look in the mirror, you are definitely fat. And it's nothing a good bra can fix. Do I refuse to wear the horribly uncomfortable control-top stockings and suck it in? Or do I buy into the hype and get heavy duty undergarments to fool the crowd.

I watched Bridezillas the other night after Steve had gone to bed. This crazy women had spent more than $50,000 on her wedding. The veil itself was more than $1000. The flowers were fabulous, but her dress, which cost a small fortune (and would be worn for a single day) wasn't' all that amazing. Worst of all, she walked around the reception with a clipboard commanding her guests to sit in their assigned seats. And while I wanted to think she was a total bitch, all I could do was feel sorry for her. She took the bait. She wanted the perfect wedding and reception and she was going to have it dammit. The saddest part is that there is absolutely no way she could have enjoyed herself, at least considering the footage I saw. What will she remember about "the most important day in her life?"

I try to stay calm, despite the fact that there is still a lot to do. I hope my face doesn't break out and that my nails look great on my wedding day. I hope that lots of the RSVPs send regrets so everyone has a place to sit in my backyard. I hope that I can find a band to play the kind of music I want to hear. But no matter what happens, I will get married on May 26 to a man that I love, and this is really the most important thing about "the most important day of my life."

1 comment:

GEWELS said...

Hey Melissa,
Wedding planning can be the pits. I've been dealing with Brides and their Mothers for 18 years. The best weddings are the one's where they realize it may not all go perfectly, but they vow to have a good time, and, like you said, realize the important thing is marrying the man of their dreams.
That said, it might not be a bad idea to have somebody outside of your sisters to deal with the bull that will crop up the day of. You guys should be relaxed and having fun, getting your hair done and pictures taken. You don't want the caterer running to you with every question, or stopping to call the band to find out why they're late, or fielding phone calls from guests trying to get there. It would be nice to have somebody designated to handle all of those annoyances so you don't have to. O.K. you can tell me to shut up now.
I've seen alot of really good weddings, and I've seen alot of really BAD weddings. Keep the sense of humor, realize that it might not be perfect, And if it doesn't quite go as planned only you and Steve will know that.
And as far as all those guests- Hey, the more the merrier, I always say.
Hang in there!