It's early and the dog is back to waking me up early - real early. So I'm drinking coffee and thinking about how complicated things have seemed lately. My world is in the process of a huge change, and sometimes when I think about it too much it really makes my stomach hurt. But this morning, I realized that all of the really important things will stay the same. And so the changes are pretty much cosmetic - on the surface - and all the rest will be as it was, only better somehow.
I will still get up without an alarm clock, knowing that the earth has a built in way of waking me when the sun rises and the light spread across the grass and over the hills. I will enjoy my first cup of coffee, and start my day slowly. I will spend time writing, looking out a window from a comfortable spot. I will begin the day's work, talk on the phone, and meet deadlines. I will rinse out the dog's dish, and make myself something to eat when I get hungry. I will take an afternoon nap if I feel tired, read a book I want to read, and only eat popcorn with butter late in the evening. I will stay up late and think about things in the dark. And I will sleep. The better part of it is that I will love and be loved during and inbetween all the regular stuff.
This love has been a long time coming...and I've waited patiently, knowing it would happen again, but wondering how and when. And one day, when I wasn't expecting it - poof - it was there, reminding me that it's what we all really want, and that it changes things.
Getting up with the sun seems better when I open my eyes and feel the warmth of another body, who has picked me to love. The coffee tastes sweeter, when I sip it across the table from someone whose eyes smile at seeing me. Deadlines are less daunting and sleeping much more refreshing.
And the change is good. The complicated things that need to be done take only my attention for awhile, and the rest falls into place comfortably, as if nothing matters but the love. And this is good.