Wednesday, December 21, 2005

winter solstice

I've been gone for awhile. Not able to catch my breath. The universe warned of big changes, and they have indeed come to pass. Today is a day for manifesting, and I have done my best to release fear and unforgiveness, opening myself up to the amazing abundance of the universe. And I have been rewarded with what is. Funny to think it was out there all the time, but that I was unable to accept it.

And so it is again the holiday season, and I have done few of the regular preparations. Aside from my small sparkley tree, my space is relatively unadorned, as I have been lately. Thinking of last year, about this time, when I tried desperately to make Christmas special, knowing that perhaps it would be the last of many celebrations I would share with my "family." And it is so. The new year approaches quickly, and I realize that though I will always hold this particular family close at heart, it has been replaced in many ways by those who I once called friends. My new family is much more concerned for my welfare, more excited by my joy, and more supportive of my crazy ideas. These are my sisters, and were since before I was born. Over the years I met them, not knowing how important they had always been and would always be.

And I look only ahead. I don't regret past decisions, as there were lessons to be learned. And this student of the universe is just beginning a new journey - one that makes me look at myself instead of others for my own joy. Today I ask myself, "what have I done in the past that has not served me?" And these I will reject, and find new actions that serve my best purpose. I will learn new lessons, but most of all, I will follow bliss, unencumbered by "rules" and old paradigms. I will say yes to joy. It's as it should be.

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