Wednesday, January 20, 2010

ice day

Working from home today. The last few days I have been driving to Iowa in dense fog - the entire earth seems shrouded in white. Desolation seems the theme, and then, rising gracefully out of the haze there's this tree. It is stately, tall, and crystallized, and I am amazed at its beauty. I think to myself, this is something I should appreciate. This is something that I should notice. Afraid to stop, I keep driving and wish I had a camera. This will not last, and I will forget when the fog lifts and the sun shines. I will never remember the quiet of this morning. Not sure how to feel about this.

So many of life's special moments are this way. When Scout takes my face in his hands and gently rubs my cheeks, or the way he "reads" his favorite books to me, getting some of the words mixed up, and looking to me for guidance. Will I forget the serious look he gets on his face when he's puzzled, or the joy I see when I surprise him at daycare and he rushes into my arms and says, "Mommy."

While the human brain is amazing, in its imperfection it omits the memories of these little details of life in favor of important dates or deadlines. And I wish the opposite were true. I wish I had a camera in my pocket every day so that I could take the picture that would record these moments. And then I remember that the camera can't record the feelings, the joy, the awe, the silence. Just pictures. Words are in the same way never good enough to help us relive those moments.

And so for me the takeaway is this: Stop, close your eyes, and be - in that moment, in that place, with that feeling. See what there is to see, not just on the surface, but the essence. Hear the silence, feel the joy, touch the magic places and know that they are fleeting. It is in those moments, we are one with what is divine and awesome and perfect. It is in those moments that we are truly alive.

1 comment:

GEWELS said...

Hi Melissa,
So nice to hear from you. I love this post as I find that I am constantly reminding myself to stop and look at the little things around me. Particularly on my walks with the dogs- the blue heron flying overhead or the herd of buck standing silently until we pass by or just the way the sun shines on a patch of ice. But mostly to listen and enjoy every human encounter that I have. Must be my age talking now and realizing that everything is so fleeting.
I know Scout must be getting so big and changing every day. Sometimes I wish that I could remember how my little boys looked at different ages. Thank God I took lots of photos at least.
I hope all is well in your world too. Sounds like it is.
Stay in touch, girlfriend. Spring is almost here.