Sunday, June 04, 2006

sunday morning

Alone this morning, enjoying a cup of coffee with Buddy, the pup. And I'm okay.

Recent events have left me realizing just how quickly life can change. In the last 3 months my entire life has changed direction in many ways. I find myself not only in a different place, but in a completely different space. Where there was pain, there is joy. Where there was loneliness, there is companionship. Where there was void, there is fullness. And time passes quickly. One day becomes another, and soon a week has passed.

I have become a part of a new family. At first this was pretty weird to me. It had been years since cousins and uncles and aunts had truly been a part of my life. In Houston, there was Ray and the kids, and Ann in Austin. But other than that, I was without relatives. My friends stepped up, as I did for many of them, and we relied on each other as a family might. Here in South Dakota, I have found a new family. They have embraced not only my relationship with Steve, but me, as just me. I realize now, that this connectedness was missing from my life for years. And it feels good. They cook out together, help each other move, celebrate reunions and birthdays and anniversaries together. They call to see if I'm okay, bring flowers when your pet passes, and call to invite you swimming. They stop by.

Other things have changed, too. I seldom read a book, or page through magazines. I don't eat Chinese food very often, nor do I sit at Starbucks with my laptop. I started cooking again, a little. And buy more groceries. I have more laundry and a yard. I have a bird feeder and two rose bushes and live with cats.

The rhythm of my life has changed. I get up a little later, and go to bed a little earlier. I enjoy the outside more, visit beautiful places, and ride in the country, where there is peace. The traffic is light - always, and people I don't know wave at me from the driver's seat when they pass me on the road.

I've met interesting people like Arlene and Virgil, who have changed the lives of others, and left their mark on the world forever.

And in a strange way, I fit here. It's as if all my life I've been waiting to find this place, this space, and this time. And there is no searching, only contentedness and comfort. Bailey taught me, that to everything there is a season, and a time to every purpose...thank you dear friend, though our time has passed, a new season has been offered to me. And I will jump in with both feet, and enjoy the grass between my toes.

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