gratitude

Today I was touched. Perhaps it's the approach of Mother's Day, people all over cyberspace sending me these heart wrenching messages about being a mom. Perhaps it's the fact that Steve surprised me by dropping me off this morning to be pampered with a massage. Or perhaps it's the Brian Andreas prints that I was looking at - each one touches my soul. Perhaps it's because Scout is sleeping and Steve is out and I'm alone feeling blessed but missing "my people."

Whatever the reason, tears have been my company this early afternoon. They're not the heavy ones that accompany sobs, nor are they terribly sad. I think instead they're a mix of all things beautiful and bright and bittersweet. They are for memories and friends left behind, they are for the beauty of morning and for the peace of softly falling rain. They are for new beginnings and for a heart heavy with love of a child. They are for finally finding true love and gentleness. They are for stillness and friendship. They are for the scattered pieces of my life that I have left behind, only to find new pieces of myself. And for all of this I am grateful.

I feel ever so connected with life and that which is unseen. The energy that ebbs and flows between all living things - the twisted way that all things intertwine to make a life. My life.

When I am ready to pass from this place to the next, I will smile and know that I truly lived an adventure, and that every falling feather, every touch, every chance meeting led me to joy. And for this, today I am grateful.