purpose

My computer died on Wednesday. My deadline was Thursday. I was surprised at my lack of concern. I was close to being finished. All the pages of the magazine were done, except for one. The ads were late, and I was waiting, as I always do, for that last client to say "go." And so I turned off the computer, unable to finish the book. And I figured it was all with purpose. May be I'm supposed to tell Richard that I get tired of waiting until the last minute for ads, and that if he was on time, the magazine would have made it on time. Or maybe I was supposed to give myself a day off. Or maybe Dave the "PC Heavyweight" needed some work.

Whatever the reason. I didn't stress out, but waited, knowing that it would get fixed somehow.

I'm not one to play the "it's God's will" card, nor do I believe "shit happens," which leaves me with the omnipresent question, "what's the purpose in this?" The only problem is that I seldom know the answer. And I'm reminded that I don't always need to know the answer. If I follow my instincts and intuition, the resolution always presents itself. And if I let the universe do its job, instead of trying so hard to control the situation, all turns out as it should be.

And so my computer runs, Dave made some money, I had most of the day off, got the car washed, and the magazine is late - but finished. I also bought a great new bag for my books, pens and notebooks - the perfect bag to replace the old writing bag, which I trashed before I left Houston. And life remains good - the earth didn't stand still. And it's all with purpose.