tuesday morning

Gray and misty, this morning feels different. Not sure why, except to say that I have dealt with some of the things on my "to do" list that I had dreaded. And so despite the overcast sky, I feel energized. This is good.

The cloudy sky puts me in mind of denial - the way the clouds hide the light of the sun. If allowed to shine through the clear mind, light is shed on all things, bringing them into focus. But when the clouds of emotional baggage and fear block the light, nothing is easy to see or define. I think sometimes we all see the world through the clouds, bringing our own baggage to each situation - denying things that seem so clear in the light of day. For some of us, the clouds are light and somewhat transparent, and if we think and squint just a little, we are able to see through them to truth. For others, the clouds are heavy and opaque, blocking the view of the truth.

I wonder what my clouds today are made of, and if I am seeing clearly, or allowing them to block the view. And I wonder how to make them light enough for me to see through. The only answer that comes to mind is a cool steady rain. I think that those whose clouds are the darkest and heaviest could use a good cry - even a thunderstorm - to heal them, lighten the clouds and let the light shine through. In the clear light of morning, the world might look fresh and new. And the truth not nearly so daunting.

But today I am hopeful, and don't feel the need for tears or healing. I think my clouds beautiful and white as they float across the sky. I breathe the air in deeply and open my eyes to an amazing dawn.